i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize