No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
