So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
