well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
