So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
