there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
