I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
