Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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