the condom got lost in my hair
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Sorry about my life...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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