Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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