I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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