i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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