CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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