I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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