Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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