I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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