He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
