do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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