Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
