her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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