You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
