Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
