ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
