How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
