Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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