just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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