I am midnight drunk by noon
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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