Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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