dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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