i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
