some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
