I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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