I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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