do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
