My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
