she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
