how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
