i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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