It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
