I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
