youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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