real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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