I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
