Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
