so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
