There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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