she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do vagina's smell?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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