I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
