Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
