Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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