I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
