the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
