O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
