strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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