You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
