I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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