I need help removing her.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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