it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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