Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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