wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night