i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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