Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.

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(281): View more from Texas

So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?

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(206): View more from Washington

I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister

(216): View more from Ohio

i hate you

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(630): View more from Illinois

This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.

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