what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
