Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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