i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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