im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize