Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
