if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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