tell your sister to shave her snatch
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
