Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize