Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
