I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
